No Regrets

 If you're a friend of mine, you'll know I live by the mantra of "no regrets." In fact, I say it quite often. Especially after a certain event or experience in which there may be some form of affliction or second guessing.

 Earlier this summer, I had a job interview for a logistics position in a small but growing business in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. During the interview, I somehow brought up this "no regrets" philosophy of mine and had quite a lengthy (in regards to an interview) discussion about it with my interviewer. She asked me how I expected to grow if not by regretting bad decisions in my past in order to shape better decisions for the future.

 Why must someone regret something to be able to grow? Growing comes through experience, that's for sure. In our lifetimes, we make decisions upon decisions every single day. The latest decision you probably made was reading this post. Bigger decisions we make may be tied to our careers, both professional or as a student, our family or our relationships.

 So why don't I regret things?

 Don't get me wrong, I believe the value of experiences is priceless. You will never truly know something unless you do it. Read about basketball all you want but you'll never understand the rush of adrenaline you get when sinking a game winner with the seconds ticking down to 0 until you've done it yourself. Read the Quran every single day and while it's still beneficial, you'll never understand the spiritual relief and peace until you act upon the teachings that you've read about.

 In fact, to experience something is so great that I don't think I will ever forget significant experiences that I've been through in life. Good or bad. And tied in with these experiences are mistakes. Mistakes galore.

 Mistakes are what I choose to replace regrets with. When I mentioned this to my interviewer, she posed the question of whether or not I regret any mistakes I made. Or if there ever was a mistake so large that I had no choice but to regret it. I simply answered with "If I ever made a mistake so large that I'd regret it, I wouldn't be sitting in this chair today."

 Mistakes come in many forms. Some small, some large. But if I didn't make these mistakes (some maybe on more than one occasion), then it wouldn't shape me to be the person I am today. By no means am I saying that I've made it to where I wanna be or anything like that. I just wouldn't change anything that's happened to me in the past because it's only made me that much more prepared for anything in the future.

 In my eyes, considering something a regret means you wanna erase it from your memory. If you regret something, you wanna instantly act like it never happened. So Ms. Interviewer, how do you expect to grow from regrets? If you do something regrettable, you live in fear of doing something else that you'll regret while trying to forget about that first regret at the same time. If you make a mistake, you work to never make that same mistake again. Fear only hurts yourself. Making a mistake and learning from it shows strength and wisdom. It's you being proactive so that the next time you attempt something, it'll be an accomplishment.

 You followin' me? Lol.


 As I mentioned earlier, I'm nowhere near being where I wanna be. And in my nearly 22 years of existence, I've made some incredible mistakes. If there's one thing I learned from each and every single of them it's that if you're able to pick yourself back up after any of these mistakes, then that mistake is only beneficial to you.

Imagine a sheltered child. Sheltered in a way that his whole life, he's grown up living under the impression that everyone lives as comfortably as his family. Everyone has food on the table, heat in the winter and comfort at night. He doesn't know or understand the concepts of violence, cheating, and corruption.

 Now flip the coin.

 Imagine a child that has had to grow up quickly. He witnessed his single mother get beat frequently by random men as she struggled to keep food on the table. In the wintertime, all his siblings shared a small quilt and huddled up against each other to keep warm. He sees people getting shot up on the block every week. Drug dealers in the alleys, ruining someone else's life. People robbing convenience stores; not to cause chaos, but to survive. He's witnessed men in blue uniforms making deals with the most powerful street thugs. Nothing but liquor being poured out on the pavement where the blood was still fresh.

Now imagine both these individuals are thrown into the world. A neutral world. Not exactly a perfect little suburb, but not the wild hundreds either. They're on their own. Who survives?

 You get my point, right?

 As with all my posts, this was just a long ramble of my thoughts. Not nearly as organized as I would have liked, but something that gets both you and I thinking. Why live with regrets? I hate people that say "YOLO" all the time, but it's true. You only live once. But that doesn't mean you party, sleep around, drink and smoke weed all day. You only live one, so make the most of it. Do something good for those around you while making a name for yourself. Dream big and make realistic goals to eventually see those dreams become reality. Life ain't perfect and neither are you. You will not always succeed. You will make mistakes. You will fall. Don't ever regret anything negative that happens to you because it is only a learning experience. It will only make you stronger and more prepared for what's ahead. Life is a grind and the only way to make is to grind through it all. The pain, the happiness, the tears, the laughter. All the ingredients necessary to achieve your dreams. Mistakes will happen. Embrace them. Use them as a tool. Do what you gotta do...