Words I Never(?) Said

There are many powerful words that we take very lightly in today's digital age. We throw words like "hate" and "love" around like nothing. We call as many people as we can our "friends." We "trust" almost anyone that'll give us the time of day. We greatly underestimate the value of words and in turn, it is hard to differentiate the genuine from the shallow. Maybe we can blame the worldwide phenomenon of social networks and micro-blogs (namely Facebook and Twitter, respectively) for this under-appreciation. People say anything and everything they want, whenever they want. They're just machines that spew out utter nonsense which allows for the profound, genuine, substantial and intellectual minds to get lost  in the murky waters.

Sidenote: I'm not claiming to be profound, substantial or intellectual lol. But don't get it twisted, I am genuine.

 I just wanna take a brief look at all the words I put in quotes up above. Let's start with love. Love is an extremely powerful word. My Twitter and Tumblr followers have seen many a post stating how you can't just tell anyone you love them. And this is true. We say we "love" many things. Food, cars, cell phones, women that we'll never have (see: Melanie Iglesias), etc. But is that really the same "love" we use when we say we love our mother? Our father? Our wife? Our children?

Webster dictionary defines love as "unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another." Would you really get heartbroken if your phone's screen cracked? Yeah, you'd be upset for a bit. But it wouldn't be long until you got a new phone or have the cracked screen replaced. Now think about if you lost someone you loved. Your mother. Your sister. Your child. Imagine how that'll impact you. Imagine the pain you'd feel when you come to the full realization that you'll never see this person again. You see what I'm saying?

It's annoying as all hell when I see females on my Facebook commenting on their "friend's" (we'll get to that in a bit) latest profile picture with "OMG! You look GORGEOUS. Why aren't you a model yet?! Love ya!" and then turn around the next day airing that same girl's dirty laundry to anyone that passes by. C'mon shawty, that ain't love. Love is when you have someone on your mind constantly. You're always worried about what they're doing and how you can help them if they need anything. Love is when you'll throw aside anything you're doing to help the person if they ever call for your help. Love is when you'll demonstrate a kind gesture on a constant basis without being asked. Love is when you buy your mother flowers outside of only just her birthday or Mother's Day. When you take your girl out to a nice dinner just because you know it makes her smile. When you buy your family tickets to Six Flags after a grueling school year. It goes deep. You feel it deep in the bottom of your heart. It's almost unexplainable.

What annoys me even more than those Facebook chicks are when people say everything I just said about love, but then throw around the word "hate" as if there's no tomorrow. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "haters gon' hate," I'd be bankin! (I admit, I've thrown that statement around generously myself). But we hate things as much as we love em. Food, cars, cell phones, women that we know we'd get rejected by but still get hurt when they reject us or ignore us (see: Melanie Iglesias). Is that really hate though? When your mom won't let you stay out late Saturday night and you Tweet: "I HATE my mother!" do you really mean that?

Hate is usually defined as having an intense hostility towards something, according to Webster dictionary again. Hate is the feeling you should have when you hear about injustices happening all over the world (see: Syria and Burma). Hate is the feeling you should have when you hear about another kid from high school getting shot for no reason.

What's most important though, is to channel the hate into something productive and positive. Take the last example I just gave. You just heard that the kid you used to make jokes with every single day in Biology back in high school died in a drive by shooting. This guy had no gang affiliation and wasn't doing anything to hurt anyone in any way. You feel the hate pulsing through your veins. So now what do you do? Do you grab a gat and start shooting up other people as revenge? If you did, what makes you different from the guy that killed your homie?

Love and hate are extremely strong feelings that can cloud your judgment and the most important thing when dealing with these two powerful emotions is to be able to control it. These emotions are rooted at the heart. When dealing with them, make sure your brain has a fair chance to balance emotion and logic. Never get caught up.

Now in the same way that love and hate went hand in hand, "trust" and "friend" both go hand in hand as well.  Let's start with friend.

As I said earlier about Facebook chicks, the people we may consider friends nowadays are not really friends at all. One day you guys are inseparable, the next day you're making sure everyone on the planet knows what a fake this person is. All 1,000 people you have on your Facebook are who you consider friends. Really though?

Maybe it's just me and call me anti-social, but I don't really make friends that easily. Friends are people I consider helpful and trustworthy. They're the ones you can count on most of the time to lend you a hand when you need it. Of course, there are different levels of friendships. And I'll be honest, maybe about 75% of my Facebook friends are people that I wouldn't really consider my friends. No diss though. They're old and/or classmates of mine, old coworkers, friends of friends, some distant relative, or just some random guy you met once at some gathering. When it comes to actual friends, there's those people you talk to every few days, the few guys in the group you hang out with 3 or 4 times a week and then there are those you trust and consider close friends.

Of all my friends, I only consider 4 or 5 my close friend (and yes, there is one that's closer than the rest). And the way they've gotten to this level in my eyes is through trust. Trust. What those 4 or 5 friends know is that trust is absolutely huge to me. I don't trust easily. And that may be one of the reasons I don't speak so freely in front of many others. I'm not really a fan of small talk. Again, not antisocial, I just don't really like spending time talking about things like the weather. Also don't get me wrong, I enjoy fruitful conversations as much as the next person. But I enjoy having those with my close friends rather than the casual ones.

Going back to trust...

I've always been known as the guy who kept to himself. Looking back just 3 or 4 years ago, I never told anyone anything. I had never opened up to a single person. My relationship with my family was very formal. I never really talked to my parents about anything deep or significant besides maybe school. I always put on a front when I was with friends or classmates.. I always figured they didn't care because truthfully, I didn't really care about them. And I'll be honest, I still feel like even my closest friends today just don't care. I've been yelled at as recently as a few weeks ago for feeling this way. You know who you are. I apologize if I made you feel that way because I do understand that I was being selfish and I hope you don't feel as if I don't care.

I appreciate my close friends more than I'll ever be able to show them but I'm trying to improve on that end. I hope you guys will think of me when you need anything at all because I will go out of my way to help you all out as best as I can. You're the few people I can trust and I hope I've done enough to show that you guys can trust me in return. And to my closest friend (you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you've done for me. All the times you were there to listen when a guy needed to vent, all the words of advice you've given, all the late night conversations that we have do not go unnoticed by me. Again to all you guys, I know I suck at showing appreciation so it figures I would just blog about how appreciative I am haha. Others would be jealous of the bond I have with each one of you.

See? Words are powerful, man. Never underestimate their power. And maybe this will get you thinking before you toss em around next time.