Farewell; A Call To All

As quickly as it has come, it is leaving even quicker. It's just like that one friend you had. The one you became so close to and couldn't go a day without talking to, and suddenly they're gone. You wonder how they could leave just like that. You think to yourself that there's no way someone can come and affect you so greatly in such a positive way and then disappear the next day. The only thing you can hope for is that one day they'll come back and you can renew the strong connection you had from last time.

This is what the end of Ramadan is like to me this year.

The reason I say this year is because I don't think I've ever had a Ramadan like this before. A Ramadan where I did as much dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and tried to avoid as many sins as I possibly could. I'm not trying to flaunt any sinning I've done in my past, but I would be lying if I told you I was "religious" or "pious." That's not to say that I'm not trying though. 

This Ramadan was a month of reflection for me. A month of redemption. Reflecting on the past mistakes I've made and redeeming myself in the eyes of Allah. It was the first Ramadan where in addition to avoiding food and drink, I had to be consciously aware that I wasn’t lying, cursing, backbiting or anything else negative that could technically discount your fast in the eyes of Allah. It was the first Ramadan where I heard the Imam cry while reciting the Quran during taraweeh and wonder if there was something wrong with me because I hadn’t shed a single tear. It was the first Ramadan where I had no distractions. No excuses. Nothing at all to stop me from taking full advantage of this month. No school, no work, no family obligations, nothing.

At ICC (Islamic Center of Chicago), they have a great program where there’s a short tafseer (lecture) about the verses that were read during that night’s taraweeh (nightly prayer during the month of Ramadan). This month, I made sure that I listened carefully to what the sheikhs had to say and tried as best as I could to apply them in my daily life. I tried to read as much Quran as I could while looking at the meaning at the same time so I know what I was reading. I tried to limit the number of times I went out with friends to have iftar (the meal to break your fast) or suhoor (the meal you eat right before you start your fast). The little things count.

It was a month where I actually felt at peace. There were things that tested my patience but I tried as best as I could to keep calm and just leave it be. Or so I thought.

In the past couple weeks, Islamophobia has seemingly become more widespread and more closer to home. A representative in my own state claimed that “radical Islamists” had infiltrated the suburbs of Chicago. And as soon as he said this, a barrage of hate crimes were reported. Air rifles were fired at MEC in Morton Grove, IL. CPSA in Lombard, IL had a homemade acid bomb thrown at it as well. Both during the times of our nightly prayer. Mosques all over the country including Boston and Oklahoma City were vandalized. And of course, there was the mosque that was burned down in Joplin, MO.

We Muslims as a whole tried to stay patient through all of this. Yes, charges were filed in some cases and justice (God willing) will prevail. The authoritative figures dealt with the situations in a reasonable way. Let the ignorant ones hate, we said. There’s nothing more we can do but show them that we’re not who they think we are. We are as peaceful as people can get. Theoretically. I’m asking all my Muslim brothers and sisters to please watch yourself. Not in the sense that you may be a victim of some hate crime, but watch yourself because you are a representative of a peaceful religion. If we perform belligerent actions, those around us will think that Islam teaches such things. Again, keep in mind that although you may not be the perfect Muslim by any means, you still represent Islam. For all you know, the guy carrying your grocery bags to your car may change his ignorant views of Islam simply through your actions because you may be the only Muslim he has ever come across personally. The root word for Islam literally translates to peace. Let’s be pioneers and examples of peace.

But then came news about Syria. And more disturbingly, Burma. I will be honest, this “ethnic cleansing” has been going on for over a decade in Burma but I have not heard about it till very recently. I ask of my fellow Muslims and non-Muslims alike to stand up against this. All you have to do is make your voice heard. Sign a petition, post a video on Facebook, organize a fundraising at your school. Do something to stop this for this is not about Islam, this is a humanitarian issue that must be addressed.

Anyway, back to me.

These events disturbed my peace a little. Then came issues about my personal life that disturbed my peace a little more. At times I wanted to snap and just forget about it all. I just wanted to “do me.” And then I thought of how almost my entire life I had been like that. That hard-headed, hard-hearted guy that would do whatever he wanted without caring what others thought. I figured it wasn’t worth going back to that because it got me nowhere.

So what did I decide for the time being? To just be at peace for now. At least until Ramadan is over. If people did me wrong or hurt me in any way, I dropped it. I’m not gonna exert any energy trying to fight back or get revenge. I’ll just smile and be polite and continue staying focused on bettering myself as a person because we are all far from perfect.

Sidenote: If you haven’t noticed already, this is going to be more like a rant. So to continue…

I have realized how blessed I am this Ramadan. Despite all the negative things that have happened, I am thankful to be where I am today. I have family and friends that I may butt heads with but at the end of the day, the love is still there. I’m blessed to have found a job this summer that opened up my eyes to a totally new experience. I’m blessed to have the opportunity to obtain a higher education. I’m blessed to have the food on my plate every day, hot water running through my house every day, an air conditioned car at my disposal, electronic devices that keep me updated on everything at every time. And more than that, I’m blessed to have two arms, two legs, and the ability to see, hear and think.

When I realized all these blessings, I realized something else as well. I realized how I take every single thing for granted. As if this was supposed to happen because I was born and raised into a middle class family in Chicago. For that, I ask for forgiveness from Allah because without Him, I am nothing.

Watching the Olympics made me respect and view athletes in a much different light. Those who praised God (whatever religion they may be) whether they won or lost really hit me hard. I need to start doing that in my own Olympics which I call my life. There’s a line by Outlandish that goes “If you fail, you take a bow. Even if you succeed, you take a bow.” Bow in front of God because He is the reason you won. And if you lost, it’s because He has bigger plans for you.

Tonight, the Quran was completed during the taraweeh prayer. The huffazs (people who memorized the entire Quran by heart) cannot be commended enough for their beautiful recitation throughout the month. May Allah build them mansions in Heaven. I felt chills during prayer today. The Imam broke down in tears as did many others during the recitation. And again it made me wonder if there was something wrong with me because my eyes were still dry.

And now as I think about how tonight is the 27^th night of Ramadan, I want to rewind back to the first night and redo it all again. All those nights after taraweeh when I just came and sat on gchat for a bit before going to bed could’ve been spent more productively. There were times of weakness when I was listening to music, I would’ve changed that. When I was too hungry to do anything else, I sat and watched tv and saw some things that I shouldn’t have, I would’ve spent that time more wisely. But as Mufti Hussain Kamani said tonight, it’s not about how you start the race but rather how you finish it. I plan to make the most of these last 3 nights or so of Ramadan. I know, it seems counterproductive that I’m writing this now but I do it in hopes that putting it in writing truly helps me see how much this Ramadan has meant to me.

I’ve seen people do a Ramadan Reflection type of post for each day of Ramadan. InshAllah (God willing), I will try to do the same next year if I am able to see Ramadan again. Because I know I wanted to say a lot more in this post that’s just slipping my mind right now. Maybe it’s for the better because this rant is way too long lol. I will improve on my mistakes from this year and the best way I can do that is by working on them starting today.

I ask you all to please pray for me and to pray for the world. For all humans alike. Men, women, children. Black, white, brown, yellow, red. Young, old, in between. We are all humans. We are all flesh and blood. We all came from Adam and Eve and one day we will all rest in the dirt. Nothing makes one of us better than the rest. We are all equal. Money, power, fame are nothing because they are just blessings God gave you. He can just as easily take it all away. So don’t flaunt it, just be grateful. And give back. Because at some point, you were desperate too. Even if you weren’t, have a heart. Look at the people in Burma (seriously, click this link), look at the people in Syria, Palestine, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Somalia, China, Jordan and every other place where people are being oppressed. Don’t stand for injustice or ignorance. Don’t be silent in the face of inhumane acts. I’ll be the first to admit that the older generation has some narrow minded ideals when it comes to certain things. Let’s break these walls down and unite as a people to create peace. And speaking of peace, let’s pray that nothing like what happened at the theater in Colorado, or the shooting in the Sikh temple in Wisconsin, or Virginia Tech, or Columbine ever happens to us.

To my fellow Muslims specifically, please pray for peace within ourselves. Seeing incidents at IFS and the Northridge Masjid in Los Angeles hurt us more than you can imagine. Let us put aside petty differences and work in the path of Allah. Let us resolve these little issues quickly so that we can focus on uniting our Ummah as a whole. United we stand, divided we fall. And right now, we are falling. What a terrible way to say goodbye to Ramadan.

Let us rise above hate, ignorance, oppression and discrimination. Let us pray and strive for peace and unity.

#OneUmmah