The City Of Ghosts

Before I get into this, I'd like y'all to take a look at this video (<-- click the link). It's a little long, but I highly recommend you watch it to get a little background on what I wanna talk about in this post.

Murder Capital

It's been a while since I've been back in the Chi since starting school back in August. Schoolwork, not being able to match schedules, my parents travelling, and simply bad timing hasn't allowed me to come back home. Luckily, Eid has presented the perfect opportunity to make my return to Chi-Town this weekend. And as I've mentioned to a few of my friends, whenever I come home, I seem to spend more time outside than I actually do at home. There's a simple explanation for this: I make a ton of plans for things I wanna do when I come home while I'm in Champaign and I try to run through em all whenever I'm here. This weekend especially allowed me to touch on nearly all aspects of my life...by which I mean I was able to see family, family friends, friends from high school, friends from college, and simply friends that I've had for a really long time. And it was this last group of friends that ever so strongly reminded me of the reality shown in the video I linked above.

That last group of friends consisted of a tightly knit crew from way back in the day. In all honesty, I cannot for the life of me remember how we all met or got together. But we were the crew that had each other's backs on everything. We weren't the ones that knew every detail of each other's lives, but we respected where each of us came from. The original crew was formed nearly eight years ago when I was a freshman in high school. It consisted of eight guys, including myself. We had all different types of personalities. There was the funny one, the genius, the stupid one, the fat one, the stud, the dumb jokes one, the little brother, and the white guy. When we met earlier today, only five of us showed up. And it wasn't because the other three were too busy or anything like that. They were resting. Six feet below.

The reason the fact that we lost three guys hadn't impacted me before this is because we hadn't all met up in a long time. We went from baggy clothed, baby-faced, raggedy whip pushin' teenagers to fly(er), up-and-coming, still strugglin' young men. But again, there was a gaping hole. The three missing had all been taken by the streets. For no. Damn. Reason. No, they weren't in a gang. No, they didn't act "super ghetto." No, they didn't have any beef with anybody. They were innocent lives taken in the name of utter nonsense, ignorance, and stupidity.

One thing I've always hated were gangs. I have never understood the purpose of gangs and I never agreed with them. I've been enlightened over the years as to how people are grown into gangs but that doesn't make me like the concept of gangs any more. I'd be lying if I told you I knew how gangs work or that I know all the inner workings of one. However, I do acknowledge why some kids do it. They don't feel the love or acceptance at home so they search for it elsewhere. They don't have a father figure to guide them through the walks of life. While I do acknowledge this, I feel there is a dichotomy within gangs themselves. There are those types of gang members that I just mentioned, and then there are those that (for lack of a better phrase), "want to watch the world burn."

The people in the ABC video are mostly the kinds of gang members I've interacted with personally. They're good people and they have big dreams. But they have to join a gang because sometimes, that is the only way to survive. They join gangs to protect their families and children so that maybe, just maybe, one day their kids can make a name for themselves. On the other side of the coin, there are the ignorant ones. The ones I feel are best represented by Chief Keef and Lil Reese (watch this...disgusting smh). It seriously pains me to say that these guys are from my city. The ones that have no ambition or desire to leave the hood. They shoot, they kill, they smoke, they drink, they don't care, they womanize, they brutalize, they simply just don't give a f**k. Why? For what? God knows.

Lupe Fiasco, as eccentric as he may be, hits the nail on the head in this video:


I've said this plenty of times before and I'll say it again: I'm not, as Lupe says, a "hood n***a." I didn't grow up with killers and my homies aren't in every gang imaginable. But that doesn't mean I haven't experienced all of those. Yeah, I roamed the streets of my own hood. And yeah, they're far more calm than the Westside. But that doesn't mean I haven't seen people killed on my block. It doesn't mean I haven't seen drug deals, guns, and prostitutes just a few blocks from my house. It doesn't mean there aren't ghosts in my neighborhood.

I wish I could end this post in a better way. With some sort of hypothetical solution that if never achieved, would at least provide some type of comfort that maybe one day things will get better. But it's a vicious cycle that I don't know how to stop. I can't even think of a logical or practical solution. Yeah, you can say we need to provide more education. You can say we need families to stay together and create a positive environment for their children. You can say we need to give these kids opportunities so that they have a step ladder out of the hood. The problem is that with every murder I hear about, more and more of my belief in these proposed solutions dissolves.

Now I've been taught that whenever we talk about a dark subject, it should end on a positive note. So I'll leave it at this: no matter how dark things get, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The end of the tunnel may be so far away that the light is no bigger than a speck of dust, but it is there. Yes, let's provide opportunities for kids of all ages, sizes, and backgrounds to achieve. Let's give them education and teach them the value of work ethic. Let's show them how the hood won't get you nearly as much success as being a CEO of a company, small or large. And if there are doubters like myself who believe the hood will never cease to exist, help change our minds.

Show us that the video below is what Chicago is all about. Not that other bullspit.


Let's make it so that the future of Chicago holds more than just ghosts roaming the street.

Yeah, yeah. It's hood now.

Peace and love. I mean that.