[Guest Post] "No Regrets" - Anonymous

I like guests posts. Check this one out. On that real life tip. On a random sidenote though: I hope y'all are enjoying the weather. Especially if you're in the Chicago area. 50-60 degree weather in January/February?! C'mon son! Gotta love global warming eh?

Live in this world, you go insane.

Killin you inside, you fight through the pain.

Feel like givin up, blowin out ya brains.

Friends ain’t there, life ain’t the same.

You put up a façade of happiness.

But every step you take, your heart regrets.

You startin to fail school, your life’s a mess.

Can’t find a job, means you can’t pay the rent.

Stealin from ya parents, only way to survive.

Wonderin what the point is of bein alive.

Feelings towards ya crush, you tryna hide.

She’s way outta sight, but burned in your mind.

Why live this way? Why not be happy,

With what you got? Life’s meant to be scrappy.

Your conditions’ despicable, your outlook crappy.

Your front unbreakable, though startin to get raggedy.

Sittin here, not believing your situation.

This has gotta be a dream right? Life’s vacation.

Keep wakin up in nightmares, desperation.

Wanna get out, but left in a hesitation.

Sittin in ya room alone, starin at your phone.

Need a friend to call, to know you’re not alone.

Never mind send a text, let em know what’s wrong.

But when they call you back, the answer’s a dialtone.

Thinkin I don’t need them, the problem is mine.

They upset, who cares? You walkin a thin line.

That’s when you start lookin up to the Divine.

Start to climb up, but again satan cuts your vine.

That’s when you finally lose all hope.

A suicide drive on Lake Shore sounds dope.

You look out in the water, here I go.

But wait, I’m 18. So much to live for.

Look back at my life, that jewel of mine.

Not for me to take away, what was I? High?

Beggin to God to forgive me of my sins.

The cold surface I walk on no longer seems thin.

What’d I do? Let it all get to me.

Haters and losers, dazin’ confusin me.

I live my life, and control is key.

Gotta bear the hits, this road is bumpy.

You start to understand the pain is needed.

The advice from ya family you finally heeded.

Feelin alive again, tone ain’t heated.

That place of calm again, you finally reached it.

Life’ll give you hits, it’ll knock you down.

Yearn for B-D while livin in Chi Town.

No matter how you feel, don’t you ever frown.

Them tears in your eyes, not from a sad clown.

Back in the game, you’re feelin good.

Back on ya grind, reppin ya hood.

Back on ya feet, feelin bulletproof.

Back to laughin, you feelin like a goof.

Then POW another shot almost knocks you out.

You were too high and gravity sought you out.

But this time, you fine. Makes no sense to pout.

You expected it. Life’s not fair, no doubt.

Just hop back on the roller coaster of life.

Expect some screams as you go through the trife.

Know there’s rain, but when it pass, it’s nice.

Hey maybe ya dream girl’ll be your wife.

Be real, the strongest one is you.

Leave room for friends, they love you too.

Your family’s rough, but you need no proof.

That they got ya back, more than you knew.

The story I tell is not of myself.

It’s a story of a kid who’s knowledge is wealth.

Life’s an experience, don’t wait for death.

Live it to the fullest man, it’s what you expect.

You’re never alone, so don’t ever fret.

Your pain is mine, we come in a set.

Brush off ya shoulders, make no bets.

Do what you gotta do, no regrets.

[Guest Post] "The Watcher" - Faraaz Saiduzzaman

Halloween is right around the corner and a good friend of mine comes through with this very gripping, eerie short piece fit for the time of year. Check it out below and give your props to him either in the comments or to his Twitter! Also be sure to check out his website where you'll find more of his amazing writing. Keep up the good work, Faraaz! I enjoy reading everything you write. -ChiTownGuevara

"You saw me do it, didn't you?"
The figure was silent, even as he punched it with a bare fist.
"You lied to me, told me it would be alright!"
He grabbed the figure by its frame and held it high, lifting it off the ground. The figure was that of a man, staring at him, just as he stared at it.
"You let it burn...I won't forgive you."

The figure stared as it did all its life, silent and as still as the one watching it. He let it go, and a loud shattering sound emanated off the walls of the room as the mirror fell to the ground.

The man woke up shivering and sweating, two signs that he had a fever.
He went into the bathroom and locked the door. He stared in the mirror and splashed his face with water. As he walked away, so did his reflection. He was relieved.

He sat down after putting on his newly-bought, expensive clothes, peering out the large window above the city and the lake. He stood up and fogged the window with his breath and waited. He waited for ten minutes and then twenty minutes and then an hour, and he got back up and left, locking his door behind him, and then unlocking it and reopening it, peering inside his room once more. "You've been wanting to talk to me for a year now...why don't you?" His voice was demanding, but nothing was good enough to warrant an answer. He wouldn't talk to him again.

He walked down the stairs and took the elevator; it was a long way down. The expensive suite he called his home was once a room for celebrities and senators. He was neither. He deserved it all, though, the power. Over both property and people. He waved to the front attendant, the kind of hesitant wave that edged across hating him for his existence and thanking him for it. He stepped and left, climbing into a car that, to passerby, could be just as expensive as his home. He checked the rear-view mirror, and started driving out of the hotel. He was on the main street adjacent to the hotel and he stopped suddenly, the brakes of his luxury sedan barely making any sound. The tub of kerosene in the back seat toppled over from the force but didn't spill. The cap was on reassuringly tight, screwed on desperately, as if it would never be used again. He checked the mirror again and saw that it was fogged and in the misty film there was a message.

He parked his car on the street, letting a valet handle it and rushed back into the hotel, back into his room and found that all the windows were fogged. The television was on. It was glued to a single frame from the news channel, the one channel he barely watched. The report was clearly about a fire.The reporter's mouth was moving, but the words coming out were different, in a whispering chant. He listened, and surely enough, it was the same repeating message as before, in the car, and before, years ago. Ashes-ashes-ashes.

He went back into the bathroom and turned the lights off. He tore the mirror off the wall.
"You saw me do it, didn't you?"
Yes, I was watching you.
"You lied to me, told me it would be alright!"
You're alive and well. Better off than you were before, in fact.
"You let it all burn...I won't forgive you."
I did it for you. I did it for us.

He stepped out of the bathroom, a nervous wreck, confused and tongue-tied, dizzy, and went to work. He shouldn't have done it. Years ago, he made the choice he wished he never did. It excited a nerve in him somewhere, though, that let him know he was still alive. He'd simply lit a match.
In his office, he stared at the picture of his wife. The object was a trophy, as was everything else. His wife, like all things that mattered, was now ash.

He stared at the picture on the newspaper clipping, of a burned building. He remembered his childhood and his favorite color and his first pet goldfish. He stared at a tiny mirror on his desk. He remembered his high school girlfriend, and he remembered his first botched job interview at the bank around the corner.

He was obsessed with money. Obsessed with power. Obsessed with his image. But it could all be done away with like a useless match once it had served its purpose. He was getting older. He'd burn out soon. He was the brightest match in the box, but soon he'd be ash. Most of all, he was in love. His heart set alight with an orange glow, the fire burning in his heart, the desire to become perfect. The orange glow. The one that got him the gold medal and his pet goldfish that died when he'd fed it too much. The one that got him the radiant, energetic wife who had burned out too early. But one thing never failed. He could always start anew. He felt like a phoenix.

He unscrewed the cap of the kerosene tub easily. Whatever work went into tightening it weeks before was in vain. He'd already memorized the wood, paper, and drywall of his office, between filing his invoices and calling coworkers for dinner. They called out to him, thirsty. He wasn't going to leave this world without quenching their desire. Now, he had nowhere to go but to his grave, and he phoned the police as he lit a match. He watched as the flames danced around, and he pulled the fire alarm and sat. He lit a fine cigar that no longer needed a lighter, and waited for that nerve to twitch again. He looked back at the mirror once more and smiled. It was the Watcher, and it would watch him until he was gone.

Ashes-ashes-ashes.



© Faraaz Saiduzzaman. All rights reserved.

[Guest Post] "Good Guys Never Win" -CM

So I've never had this request before, but I had a friend come to me and ask to submit something for me to post on the blog. I thought it'd be interesting for some people to read about the topic they presented to me since I've never particularly touched on it. Check it out below and throw some feedback at me. Shout out to CM for the great read. -ChiTownGuevara

The phrase "good guys never win" is such a cliche nowadays, I could never believe it. It was only after experiences I've faced myself that I realized how true it is. Maybe it's because of my age and people my age don't know what's good for them until it's too late. Or maybe the certain people I've dealt with actually are into badasses. Let me tell you the story of my friends Mike and Cindy.

Both were going through tough breakups when they met at a dinner party. They got to talking and enjoyed each others company. It actually took a couple more meetings for Mike to finally get Cindy's number because Cindy was now overly protective of herself and Mike just didn't care for a relationship any longer. Regardless, the workings of a new relationship came together. They texted each other nonstop. Then came the late night phone calls. Every single night. Hanging out everyday was now a routine. They always met up after school, during weekends, after holiday parties, etc. I couldn't imagine one without the other. She talked about him nonstop to anyone that would listen. You would've thought they were newlyweds. But this wasn't a relationship. They claimed to be nothing more than best friends. The best of friends, in fact.

It wasn't just an infatuation that they had for each other. It was true love. You could tell from the moment they looked at each other that they truly cared about one another. Whenever Mike was hurt, Cindy would cry for him. Whenever Cindy was scared, Mike was always there within a split second's notice to go and hold her. The night Cindy's mother died, Mike stayed with her all night with the risk of failing his exam the next morning. Even still, Mike never had the courage to ask her out because he believed in the philosophy "Good Guys Never Win." He brought this philosophy up to Cindy one night. Cindy adamantly denied such a statement and said that ultimately, good guys always win. She explained how Mike had fixed her after she had been broken from her last relationship. Mike mirrored the same sentiments. It took 9 months for Mike to gather the courage to finally kiss her. It seemed like a match made in heaven.

Like in any relationship, being around each other for so long finally seemed to be getting to them. Little habits they each had started to annoy both Mike and Cindy. But they still ended their days by saying "I love you" to each other. They loved each other, but their relationship had matured. They weren't all over each other any longer, but they still deeply cared about each other. They trusted each other with all of their secrets. There was nothing that could break this bond. Or so it seemed.

About a year after they were officially a couple, Cindy came across someone she had met through a mutual friend. A good looking guy by all means. However, Cindy hated his attitude because he acted like a jerk. The jock in high school, she had imagined. But this kept her interested for some reason. They started talking. She hated how he degraded women, always talking about which girl he wanted to sleep with next. Apparently he had gone as far as getting engaged to a Muslim girl just so he could sleep with her. But Cindy couldn't get away from this jerk. At the same time, Mike couldn't get a hold of Cindy as often as he was able to just a few months earlier. They were drifting apart. In the hardest way imaginable for Mike. He couldn't believe the girl of his dreams was slipping away. Cindy was sad, but she had this new guy now. He comforted her with his badass attitude. Weird, but true.

When a few days had gone by since they'd talked, Cindy wondered why her boyfriend didn't hit her up anymore. She called and texted Mike, but no answer. She ran into him on campus one morning and confronted him about why he was avoiding her. Mike was deeply hurt by what she was doing. He didn't say much, but it was clear that he no longer wanted to be with Cindy. At the time, Cindy didn't care. He was acting like a girl, why couldn't he be like this new guy? Guys, after all, should be a badass. Yeah, Mike had some of those bad boy qualities, but he always acted soft in front of her. She didn't need that. She needed this new guy. And she got him.

Less than 3 weeks after Cindy became official with Mr. New Guy, she lost her virginity to him. Soon after that, he bounced. With no trace. It was months later that Cindy came to discover that he was married the whole time they were together. Not only that, but he had leaked some provocative pictures she had sent him to her friends. She was embarrassed, heartbroken, and mentally destroyed. She had passed someone who she could see be the father to her kids for someone that had nothing to offer her besides good looks.

Mike, I don't know where you are now but I hope you read this. It's been over 6 months since I saw you or heard from you for the last time. There's nothing in the world that will help me make up for how badly I messed up. You had everything I needed and wanted. I would jump into your arms in a heartbeat even though I know you'll never take me back. Good guys win, Mike. You were wrong. They always win because they don't do stupid things like I did. You will find a girl that can treat you right. A girl that will see what I saw in you and keep you for that reason. A girl that you deserve. Someone that's not me. I still love you. I love you for being the person you are and the impact you've had on me. I love you for being a good guy. My mother always loved you too. She was so excited whenever I brought up the thought of marrying you. I'm truly sorry for everything. You were my closest friend and I let you go because I was a stupid little girl.

I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe I lost the best thing to happen to my life. This is my message to all the guys that consider themselves "good guys." Stay that way. Good guys win.

Love,
Cindy.

UPDATE BY CHITOWNGUEVARA: This is a GUEST post lol. I should've made that more clear. I did not write this story nor do I know the characters in them. I had a request by someone to post the story, so I did. That should clear it up.